Playboy is finished!! Decision to nix the naked photos is the last nail in Hef’s coffin!


(Pictured: Mrs. Crystal Hefner, Hugh Hefner’s current wife.)

This news today from Playboy Magazine is more evidence that the real reason why the media business is in so much trouble is entirely because the people at the top are so breathtakingly incompetent. 

The big news is Playboy announced they are going to get rid of nudity in the magazine as part of a big redesign happening with the March 2016 issue. They claim they can’t compete with the racy content on the Internet. There had been rumors they were about to do this but I didn’t think these fools were serious. Clearly, they are. 

This truly is an unbelievably stupid decision. This is like Dunkin’ Donuts getting rid of their donuts, or Ford or Chrysler deciding to get out of making cars, or Coca-Cola getting out of the cola business, or Pizza Hut getting rid of pizza. 

In fact,  I notice a lot of the reaction on Twitter seems to treat the news as if the magazine was out of business! Also a lot of “terrorists have won” comments, too.

If this decision stands, believe me, Playboy will be out of business. This is really going to infuriate their fans. The folks in charge there are claiming nudity is “passé” and this move will attract more millennials, but they are kidding themselves if they think this rag can stand alone without it. 

The fact is the real reason why people buy Playboy Magazine hasn’t been because of its great articles or interviews, or because of Hugh Hefner’s exciting lifestyle or any of that. It’s because of the naked women, that is exactly what their readers want to see! I’d say 99 percent of their readers buy it to see the nude pictorials. 

Besides, the naked centerfolds and the celebrity pictorials are the best thing about the magazine — even those who hate Playboy will admit that. If they get rid of the nudity, Playboy will be ruined. It will be no better than Maxim or Esquire. They’ll be just another magazine like the others. And I’ve said my piece already about Maxim and where I think they are headed.

This decision by Playboy looks like a desperate move, and it is, because sales have been in decline for a while. But the real reason I think sales are bad is entirely because apart from the Playmates, Playboy has been crap! They haven’t had a decent celebrity pictorial in a long, long time. They used to have lots of them, but the last good A-list one I can remember is Kate Moss from January 2014. Maybe sales are so bad they can’t afford them, I don’t know.

Meanwhile, magazines like Treats!, and the revival of Lui Magazine over in France have been knocking it out of the park with pictorials featuring exactly the hot models Playboy used to regularly have back in the day — these supermodels and “it” girls. There is no reason why big names like Emily Ratajkowski or former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo shouldn’t be in Playboy, but Treats! got both of these ladies first. A month ago Lui had supermodels Candice Swanepoel and Joan Smalls, and this month they have Naomi Campbell on the cover for &$”/@ sake! 

Anyway, that is the real reason Playboy is in trouble. They just haven’t stepped it up to bring in the big names. Now with this latest daft move, trust me, the remaining Playboy fans are going to defect to the competition — to Treats!, to Lui, to Penthouse (and what a gift this news is to that sinking ship), to all the free content on the Internet, and so on. And that will finish off Playboy.

By the way, we’ve seen this scenario play out before. This is exactly what went down with Loaded magazine over in England. Those stupid fools made their decision to get rid of their naked pictorials, and they claimed their readers had “evolved” and were more interested in music and entertainment than in girls. And we all know what happened with their format change. Loaded went completely out of business in a matter of months! 

So that’s my rant about Playboy. This rag has had it! 


One comment

  1. Alan Asper

    John, I couldn’t agree more, but would like to add an additional thought. Way back in Playboy’s heyday in the 60s and 70s, you had a mix of sweet, demure, sometimes exotic Playmates that were pictured lounging in their backyards, apartments or whatever, that exemplified every man’s fantasy of the “girl next door”. Even if they were airbrushed or not showing pubic hair, there was something much sexier about them than the bland, expressionless, cookie cutter blonde bimbos of today with their silicone boobs. Playboy has been really slipping lately when it comes to what they were originally supposed to be all about, and most men have simply lost interest in it because it’s become so boring!